Thanks guys! I love that you love!

You can see the promo for a new show, without it ever having have premiered, and know that there's going to be a shit load of slash about it already.

See: White Collar.

So I normally don't do RPF-- I was always like "Oh, okay, these are actors, playing roles, let's focus on the characters" and all that jazz.

But Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles live together? Like, in real life?

...Seriously?

Open season, bitch-- *so* open season.

1) Merlin-- slashtastic sex between Merlin and Arthur, who are both hot, British (okay, British and Welsh), and madly in love with each other. Watch it and go "Oooooh, buttsmex."

2) Supernatural (Season 1-4, with an emphasis on 4)-- Two words: Misha. Collins.

3) Good Omens-- Neil Gaiman being awesome and channeling The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Did I mention awesome?

That is all. Go forth and let these things eat your brain the way they have mine.

Someone thinks the NCIS Awards are rigged? Like, really?

Okay, so I'm not in charge of these awards anymore-- I have no affiliation other than the nominations that someone was kind enough to give me, and appreciating the work that these fine people have put into revitalizing a community that has become amazing because of all of their efforts.

But seriously, now, seriously:

Blow me, asshole.

Title: Charm
Author: B. Cavis
Rating: Teen Friendly
Summary: “Ziva is very good at what she does.”
Disclaimer: Not mine. Blow me.
Spoilers: Aliyah. Because, seriously, I had to.



Author’s Note (contains spoilers):





So at first I was pissed, right? And then I went “Wait a second—Ziva David is awesome! If she’s getting tied to a chair and beated, there is no way in hell it isn’t entirely at her command! She’s Xena! Xena doesn’t get rescued! Xena neck pinches mad bitches!”

So yeah. This is Ziva Neck Pinching Mad Bitches.

The title is from a Hebrew prayer about the hidden power of women: “Charm is deceptive. Beauty is naught.”

Enjoy!











( Charm by B. Cavis )

So, in the NCIS Fanfiction Awards (which I am no longer the Boss-Lady of, due to extreme laziness, and someone else being awesome enough to think "Hey, we should have these again!") I have apparently received the following nominations:

A Life Dissected (Rare Pairs--> Romance)
Bad Man (Rare Pairs--> Angst)
River (Kate/Gibbs--> Romance)
Transparent (Kate/Gibbs--> Angst)

To whoever nominated me, thank you. It's always nice to know you guys like me, even if I am no longer the most prolific author on the web.

Speaking of, check back in five minutes.

*runs off for one last beta.*

If you ever have about, oh, $130 to blow, or its on someone else's credit card, you should buy yourself this:

http://store.babeland.com/vibrators-premium/sasi-vibrator-by-babeland

Know how oral sex is fun? This is oral sex in a box. Literally. With a microchip. My vibrator is officially smarter than most lovers, and will one day start up SkyNet and blow us all up, and I don't give a rats ass.

Burn, baby, burn. Because I have cunnilingus in a box.

Things I've Learned Today from MTV:


1) After watching a mini-marathon of True Life on MTV (I know, I know) I've come to a conclusion.

The word "bitch" really is just a hateful way that men try and make women cower and do what they want them to do.

...

I never thought I'd admit that out loud. It's the kind of thing that some angry little feminist in a woman studies class would say, face all red and scrunched up, or the statement of a high school girl who really is acting cruelly and wants to excuse her actions.

But I take back my insults, fellow women. Because the term "bitch" really does seem to be the kind of word that I'm either going to have to a) reclaim or b) retire, because it's entirely too hateful to keep in circulation.

Para example-- True Life: I'm in a Love Triangle.

Man is dating one woman, cheats on her, she breaks up with him. He gets with another woman, and then keeps trying to win the ex back while both of them are aware of his skanky ass ways. He goes out to ice cream with the ex, she says "choose which one of us you want" and he says "You're acting like such a bitch!"

Second case-- guy breaks up with his gf, impregnates the rebound. Now wants to have a threesome relationship with the ex and the rebound. The ex says "Why did you do this? Why not use a condom! I got an abortion for you!" and his response "You're such a bitch right now."

...

Nope. Veto. I've decided-- taking the word back. Right here. If a man uses the term "bitch" around me, I'm walking away. New rule. The same way if I heard him say "Kike", I would walk away, same deal. The end.

Congrads, MTV. You've pushed me to make the term "bitch" as uncomfortable for assholes in bars as the N word, calling someone a Jew, and faggot.


2) Real World: Brooklyn. "The real city is across the bridge."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Suck it every person I know who lives in Williamsburg and wears skinny jeans! Me and my Washington Heights homies are laughing our asses off at you. MTV thinks you're cool now! Your time has ended!

*happy evil!dance*

/Manhattan-imperialism